This isn’t going to seem relevant to Tim Allen for a second, but stick with us: Paige Tamada is almost 39.

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It’s okay if you don’t know who that is. She was the child actor from 1994’s The Santa Clause who played Judy, the elf that brings Allen’s Scott Calvin a cup of cocoa when he first arrives at the North Pole. Here she is, back then:

And here she is in 2023, making a cameo in the Disney Plus series The Santa Clauses,playing another hot chocolate enthusiast. 

The point is, you’re getting old, and The Santa Clause is getting old, and Judy the Elf is now almost exactly the same age that Tim Allen was when he played Santa Claus for the first time: 39. 

It’s a tough pill to swallow, but there it is: If you watched The Santa Clause as a kid when it first came out almost 30 years ago, there’s a solid chance that you’re now roughly as old as Santa Claus was in the movie. Life isn’t about comparing your own successes with the successes of those around you, but seriously. How do you compete with that? What have you done that’s comparable to what Scott Calvin had done by the time he was your age? Have you ever gotten in a fight with Peter Boyle at work? Divorced a woman who went on to marry Judge Reinhold? Have you ever even inadvertently slaughtered the embodiment of the Christmas Spirit, stolen his clothes, taken over his life, and then commissioned a robot double of yourself so that you could go on a blind date with a troublingly holiday-focused Molly Shannon in the middlingly-reviewed sequel eight years later? No?

Well, if you’re still younger than 39, there’s still time.