Real Housewives of New York City star Luann de Lesseps’ struggle with sobriety was a big part of Season 11, and she is still on probation after her December 2017 arrest and two stints in rehab. De Lesseps admitted during the reunion that she is a “self-sabotager,” but now she says that she has learned how to deal with stress and stay sober.

During a recent appearance on Jenny McCarthy’s SiriusXM radio show, de Lesseps said that for her, the urge to drink is a wave. She explained, “It’s like you go to the beach and you stand in the ocean and the wave is coming and it’s like, ‘Oh, here it comes!’ And then it comes and it breaks and it goes away. So do those feelings.”

See what @CountessLuann said about her #RHONY costars:

— TooFab (@TooFab) August 15, 2019

Now that she doesn’t have alcohol in her “toolbox,” the cabaret singer says she has to take a deep breath and acknowledge that she wants to drink, and then reach for a mocktail. De Lesseps says she enjoys Heineken Zero because she feels like she’s drinking a cold beer, which is nice because that’s her drink of choice in the summer.

The countess said that if you just stop and give the urge to drink just a minute, it will go away and then she can deal with it. In addition to non-alcoholic beer, de Lesseps also enjoy vaping to help her get through those moments.

De Lesseps’ struggle with sobriety has hurt her relationships with her co-stars, especially after Bethenny Frankel organized an intervention and paid for rehab last summer. The countess ended up leaving treatment early, and Frankel eventually confronted de Lesseps during the cast trip to Miami. This resulted in one of the biggest blow-ups in the history of the show.

“I think it’s harder to deal with them than being sober,” revealed de Lesseps. “Being sober’s the easy part, you know? It’s difficult to live under the microscope as it is, but then to not have your friends to help you out is even worse. It’s really difficult.”

Luann de Lesseps says Tinsley Mortimer will be on #RHONY next season!

— HollywoodLife (@HollywoodLife) August 15, 2019

During the reunion, her co-stars were upset that de Lesseps left the treatment facility early to perform her cabaret act, and Ramona Singer accused her of “drinking on the side.”

De Lesseps says she still doesn’t consider herself to be an alcoholic, but there was a time when she was on a “highway to hell,” and she was self-medicating. She says she has committed to staying sober, which is a requirement of her probation.

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The Season 11 reunion of Real Housewives of New York City just aired on Bravo in late July. New episodes won’t return until 2020.