The Five Nights at Freddy’s film is finally here, but just how scary is it?

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Whether you are easily startled yourself or want to know if you should recommend it to others who are faint of heart, you’ve come to the right place to determine if FNaF is right for the situation. Considering the original video game from 2014 is famous for its jump scares, it’s a valid question to ask.

Like the game, the movie centers on an individual who takes up a job as a security guard at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria. It’s a chain that resembles the real-life Showbiz Pizza of old or Check E. Cheese. However, there’s a macabre twist. Within the defunct restaurant, the animatronic mascots come to life at night, resorting to murdering those who poke around in its walls. That certainly sounds scary, but does the PG-13 film deliver?

“Scariness” is a subjective concept, to be sure. That’s why I’ve taken to coming up with my own scale to rate it, based on my personal point of view. Since I’ve seen the FNaF film and even reviewed it, I have my own opinion about how scary the movie is. My rating system is on a sale of 1-5 and breaks down as follows:

1. Not scary at all
2. A little bit scary
3. Very scary
4. “I’m about to poop my pants in fright”
5. “Not only do I need new trousers, I need a therapist”

Is FNaF a snooze fest or will it keep you up all night?

Personally, I rate the FNaF film with a 1 – Not scary at all. Sure, it has the creepy animatronics from the games, brought wonderfully to life by Jim Henson’s Creature Shop. The film also tries to have a deeper message about childhood trauma and how that affects people when they become an adult, such as Josh Hutcherson’s Mike Schmidt struggling to adjust to life after witnessing his brother get kidnapped as a child. However, the robotic fiends and the many dream sequences about the main character’s memory of the kidnapping seem largely at odds with each other throughout the film, resulting in any scariness factor that could’ve happened canceling itself out.

You see, there is maybe one jump scare to speak of throughout the duration of the whole movie. And even then, it’s not particularly scary. There are moments with chilling imagery here and there, but nothing that truly cuts through to the bone. Plus any buildup of creepy stuff that starts at Freddy’s is immediately interrupted with the sleep-prone Mike entering a dream sequence in broad daylight where he talks to ghost children, completely deflating any tension and with no payoff.

If you’re a fanatic of FNaF, you may get some enjoyment out of the movie as there are tons of Easter Eggs about this lore. However, if you’re simply looking for a movie to scare you, this unfortunately isn’t it.

Regardless of your scariness preference, Five Nights at Freddy’s is currently playing at a theater near you or on Peacock via a paid subscription.